If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad!?

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I got offered an amazing opportunity at work today

My anxiety hasn’t been this low in ages

Creativity levels and motivation to write haven’t been this high, I think for months

Body confidence has been pretty good, I can rock skinny jeans and a tight top!

I’ve been given heaps of praise and compliments lately…

So why the hell am I so miserable?!

My drive home from work I could barely smile or sing which is what I would normally do during a time like this, I couldn’t eagerly read through paperwork or wonder what I would be like undertaking this opportunity. All I could do was sob.

Is this depression? is this Autism? this I can not answer but all I can say is I feel so low… low enough to reach the pits of the abyss.

Am I selfish for feeling this way? maybe. Am I over-reacting? most likely. Am I going to feel better in the morning?

Or is this anxiety talking and negative things I’ve heard repeating themselves through my head? or is this depression seeping back through pulling me down and taking me back to step one? Am I not allowed happiness and the drive to succeed?

I’ve written down what’s going through my head right now as I’ve mentioned before… it’s one of the things that can sometimes help me. Question is, will it halt things for now?

Updates soon. Situation unknown.

Take care of yourselves you wonderful people!

Until next time.

CREDIT FOR GIF: https://giphy.com/gifs/spongebob-season-1-episode-14-3oxOCwwg0LvrKe5LoY