Is there anybody out there?

giphy-downsized (4)

This GIF though…

*POTENTIAL ANXIETY TRIGGER*

But seriously, down to business. Apparently Autistic people can be oblivious to what’s happening among their peers, or what’s around them .. or even what’s happening to themselves? ( this is what I’ve heard and I don’t know if opinion or not.)

Call me nerdy but I do pay attention to the news and current affairs (fake news or not, I don’t know) and holly heck am I terrified. You no doubt have heard about tensions with USA/ North Korea and about the Civil War in Syria and I am petrified about the prospect of what could happen. Nobody wins in war.

I don’t want to talk about Politics but I want to mention that the prospect of Nuclear War and/ or other potential devastation has caused me sleepless nights and sometimes hours of watching Nuclear War Movies (in particular the British movie Threads (1984) ) wide-eyed and breathless. Is this what the Cold War felt like? or worse? ( I wasn’t around then.)

I’ve had daydreams ( I daydream like crazy) of alarms going off and me stuck out in the open or alone at home frozen on the spot not knowing what to do. I dream that I face the prospect of never seeing my Family again and facing a nuclear wasteland alone. I dream of being in constant hysterics and wishing I was vaporized the minuet the dam bomb hit.

In regards to Syria I think of all the poor people caught in the devastation and daily horror and as selfish as this may seem I don’t wish to mention more about this as it could cause conflict.

But am I overthinking the whole situation and/ or dramatizing things? as I’m very good at that. Is my anxiety taking over and causing me to fixate on world situations? do I just need to relax and breathe? I don’t know but I beg for someone to tell me the answer.

Now, about myself. About two weeks ago I had a Psychiatrist appointment that I’d been waiting about three months for. This was to hopefully diagnose ADHD, which happened… but didn’t.

I have symptoms of ADHD but situations that happened to me as a Child may have caused the symptoms too. I am eligible for medication but I don’t fit the criteria for a Diagnosis, unless I seek further advice which would cost thousands.

Understandably I was frustrated as I was hoping for an answer. I’ve had the symptoms for as long as I can remember but did the events hype things up? can’t explain this properly but basically do I really know how I feel? am I an expert of my own mind or am I wrong about how I feel as sometimes I can’t process things?

Can somebody tell me? …. is there anybody out there?

Until next time.

GIF CREDIT:ย https://giphy.com/gifs/sad-a9xhxAxaqOfQs

 

 

 

Published by

nothingsgoingtochange

A blogger with Autism/ Anxiety and Depression just looking to change the stigma on talking about Mental Health/ Disability issues and assist others like me.

37 thoughts on “Is there anybody out there?”

  1. I am no expert at this.
    But if medical expenses are bothering you , then you can try diagnosis and treatment in Asian countries. Medical tourism is a big thing in India. Medical expenses can be very low.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is totally normal for the news and world drama to create personal drama and rile you up, happens to everyone to some degree for sure. As long as you keep vocalizing your troubles and blogging and talking to doctors, youโ€™ll be able to release a lot of those tensions. You should try yoga and meditation too! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We all have worries however, i prefer to not worry much because i tend to miss the beautiful things happening on the present situation. Regarding to the nuclear thing, am Asian and am actually more worried on what’s gappening in Syria and USA, than in North Korea. North Korea are sometimes misunderstood since they have their our bubble, it is like a boy who likes to brag his toys to his neighbors, and thats it. But thats their thing. What happening in Syria and USA is a near reality.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I grew up during the Cold War. I was always so scared as a little kid that we were going to have nuclear war. So I definitely understand the kind of anxiety this can cause. It truly is a difficult thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I completely understand, I was going through medical problems a few years ago (stomach related) … the doctors told me everything was fine, but I didn’t feel fine, in fact I KNEW something was wrong. So I went to see more doctors, more specialists and finally I got a diagnosis and proper treatment and am finally feeling better. Don’t give up!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am happy that you have a blog where you can write your thoughts and share them with us. Writing down what you’re worried about can help you feel less stressful and I think meditation is a great way to calm your overthinking brain ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Most people are not experts of their own mind. Most people have trouble controlling their thoughts and trouble separating thoughts from who they really are. Practicing mindfulness and mediation are ways to learn your own mind better.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The mind can be tricky. I would dare to say most people are not experts of their own mind. People sometimes believe every thought that crosses their mind and have trouble separating a thought from who they are. Some people even have trouble slowing their thoughts down. Without work in mindfulness or meditation most people are not experts of their mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Itโ€™s tough when youโ€™re searching for the right answers and people canโ€™t give it to you. Often times I also feel lost because of that. I think we also have the tendency to overthink things. We just have to sit back take things slow and reflect. I know itโ€™s not that easy but itโ€™s always worth a try.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. It can be very frustrating when we are not diagnosed or are ‘misdiagnosed’ as we are just trying to search for answers that can help us come to terms with our mental health issues. I have depression, anxiety and PTSD from multiple childhood/teen related trauma and I liked how you said that it is important to challenge stigma. I was not diagnosed or even felt the need to seek help for such a long time because I was labelled as a drama queen and I believed them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh it is very frustrating when we are not diagnosed or not given the correct diagnosis and even more when you know what’s going on but professionals doubt you. I had to fight for years to remove the label “sad teenager.” I know what you mean when you said you didn’t want to seek help because of labels but so glad that you did in the end, good one! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

  11. I don’t like thinking this much, I mean daydreaming of negatives, since I’m a worrier, haha. And the tendency, I have a lot of what ifs and won’t be able to sleep. I hope your not so good daydreams will stop ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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